Yesterday was basically a good day. I went shopping and bought a pretty dress, I went out to eat with a friend at an Asian restaurant. Alex and I talked on my car ride back to my college town from home. Things were good.
I don't know what happened last night. I just got so convinced by my friends that this isn't good. That he can't possibly be good for me if he would just leave me like that. If he left me once, he'll leave me again. I want to believe his tears, I want to believe that voice. I think deep down I really do believe him, but I feel stupid for it. I don't want to feel lonely and stupid again. I don't want it to be a big mistake all over again.
I think I ruined it by making him so upset last night. I haven't heard from him today, but its still early. I know he hates feeling like this. I do too. I want to fix it, but he just keeps saying he wants to come back but doesn't do anything about it. This just isn't fair to me, I can't do this back-and-forth.
My best friend from high school is probably getting engaged this week. I'm so happy for her. I wish all of my friends could be as happy as she is. Hell, I wish I could be as happy as she is.
No comments:
Post a Comment